quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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