The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
