guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
