I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
