my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
