sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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