What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
