New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
