when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
