how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
