This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
