I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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