my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My bed smells like the plague
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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