im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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