Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Naked Twister starts at high noon
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
