i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
