She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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