I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
