You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
