6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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