google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
