Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
