I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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