I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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