He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
