Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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