I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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