Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
