You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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