I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
