Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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