he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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