So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
