so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm always down for nudity.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
