Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I understand Curling. That high.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
