Whod you bang
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
