I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
