A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
