i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
