We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
