Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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