You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I supernannyed him into submission
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
