Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
