hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
