Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
