Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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