you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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