I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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