i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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