I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
