Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
