i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She told me I should be a condom model.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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