Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This is not my ceiling
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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