ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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