I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
