note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
